Sunday, August 26, 2012

Spotlight: Kendra Arnold

Each week we will be picking members to spotlight to tell their Alzheimer's story and why they are running in this year's New York City marathon. Check in each  Wednesday, Friday and Sunday for new updates on who will be spotlighted and get to know your teammates...(each person is picked at random) 


My dad died in January 2011 from Alzheimer’s, and I still find it hard to talk about him.  I can talk about raising money, or whatever new study is out, but talking about my dad really gets to me.  I’m going to give it a try.

Well, first of, he was just an awesome dad.  Seriously.   He was always ready with a joke and a laugh, and ready to do something interesting, and maybe a little pranky.  I can remember him convincing me that after eating watermelon, he could pull the seeds out of my ear.  He took us on mystery trips where we would have to figure out the clues to know where we were going; I’m not sure I ever did figure out the final destination, but all the trips he took us on were were so much fun.

He was always messing around in his workshop, or soldering some sort of electronic thing together, or inviting everyone in the neighborhood over to make ice cream or press apple cider.  He made so much apple cider that I still can’t drink it, having had gallons and gallons of it growing up.   He would sometimes show up with a truck full of wood and a day later, there would be some sort of awesome deck or stairs to a creek.

He never really got mad, but I can remember during my surly high school years, when I got in a bit of trouble, him struggling to understand what was going on and him saying “I just want to know where you are coming from,” which really annoyed me at the time, but now seems really endearing.  He didn’t get mad, but he would give you stuff to do, like once when I was in trouble at school, he decided that I would just spread wood chips around the yard, and once I finished one pick up load, he would bring another one.  Weird that now a pile of wet wood chips will make me nostalgic.

He just had such a genuine interest in people and learning how to do things.  He built an elaborate train set in his yard, took so many classes just for fun, became an expert at working with stained glass, loved walking trails with the dog and whoever would come along with him, and just was a great guy. 
Anyhow, I first noticed he was having problems that might be Alzheimer’s around the time of my brother’s wedding.   A year later, when my parents came up to visit, he had problems finding the hotel from my apartment just a few blocks away, and I think it was stressful for him to be out of his normal landscape.    I think there were some signs after this that made me realize it might be Alzheimer’s for real.  I wasn’t really surprised exactly, my grandfather had had Alzheimer’s, and so had one of my grandmothers. 

It was about 10 years after the first signs until my father passed away.   I guess for me, it was sort of a delicate balance of trying to help and also respect my parents independence and privacy, and all the other issues that come with trying to support caregivers and being a caregiver on occasion, and trying to find out where to get help and then suggesting getting help.    So many  people feel like they have to do it all themselves or something is wrong with asking for help, when it is one of the most human things we can do, I think.

At some point during the last couple of years of my dad’s life, I discovered the Alzheimer’s Association NYC marathon team, and sort of got it in my head that I was going to it.   Some of the runners had blogs about their training, but their blogs were also about what their families were going through or issues they were dealing with, and it was just amazingly helpful to know other people were dealing with Alzheimer’s and hearing their stories.

This will be my second year running the NYC Marathon, and while last year’s training was def a huge help in getting through my grief over losing my dad, this year is about the money. 

More people close to me have been diagnosed since my father’s death, and I have to consider that I am at risk for this too, as well as the people I care about.  I mean, we really really really have to do something—research is critical, I think, but having the resources to support caregivers and giving them options they can live with is so important. 

Supporting the Alzheimer’s Association is something I do because I loved my dad, but it is also so important because of the people I love right now.  Run on.

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