SPOTLIGHT: Caryn Chan

Each week we will be picking members to spotlight to tell their Alzheimer's story and why they are running in this year's New York City marathon. Check in each Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday for new updates on who will be spotlighted and get to know your teammates...(each person is picked at random)

I am dedicating my first NYC Marathon to my mom, my dad, my two younger sisters, and most importantly, my grandmother.

The original plan was to celebrate my 30th birthday by running the NYC marathon for the first (and probably the last) time. However, life as my family and I knew it was forever changed and a new reason to run sprung up in front of me - my grandmother was drifting away to Dementia.

The beginning of a new life, April 2010: The noticeable signs started. We received a phone call from the paramedics at 1:15 a.m. about my grandmother wandering and knocking on her neighbors’ doors confused as to where she was and looking for “somebody” who was calling for help. That “somebody” was not a particular person, but a vague visual and voice. When asked who she was looking for, she did not know how to answer, she mumbled a few sounds and eventually changed the subject “Hey, how are you this morning?” (It was still dark out).

It took us a year before we started accepting that my grandmother had Dementia. We visited several doctors hoping we would get an answer that we wanted to hear. Alas, after five of the same diagnosis, we started doing our research. In hindsight, the symptoms were there two years before the wandering incident – many of which can be mistaken for old age: forgetfulness, wearing the same outfit, not caring about their appearance, confusion as to where to place certain things, and short term memory/repeatedly asking the same questions.

I finally accepted it. Then the guilt kicked in. I cried myself to sleep in the following months. I looked back at all the times I got annoyed for her asking the same question a billion times and got mad at her for not remembering. I saw how it stressed my mom and dad out, because they did not know how to handle my grandmother and the sadness they had because they did not want to leave her alone. I saw my sisters, sad, yet in denial and saw their tears that their grandmother was physically there, but mentally was in a different world. After numerous family discussions over dinner, we knew what we had to do.

Our new life, present time: My grandmother recently moved to a nursing home, where many of the patients have Dementia/Alzheimer’s. Although this is not ideal, it is the best place for her where she can get the best care. The home is only fifteen minutes away from my parents’ home and they see her every day. My sisters and I visit her often, just like when she had her own apartment. We want her to get used to the idea of living there, but eventually will be bringing her out to eat, go shopping, and go to the park. She may be in a nursing home, but we are trying to live the most normal life possible.

This one is for my grandmother, to find a cure for the disease. It is also for my family, for the emotional ups-and-downs, for the challenging road ahead, and for the future, that we can end this disease and that nothing will be forgotten.