Spotlight - Tania Elisa Cornejo-Perez

Each week we will be picking members to spotlight to tell their Alzheimer's story and why they are running in this year's New York City marathon. Check in each day for new updates on who will be spotlighted and get to know your teammates...(each person is picked at random)

My grandfather, Papa German, had Alzheimer's.  Though he lived to be 98 years old, it was saddening to see him deteriorate so quickly once the disease started to affect him.  He used to take my brother and I to see beautiful places in our country, have lunch by the beach on a whim and buy us whatever we wanted.  He defended and protected me from the animals he raised on his farm.  He went from a strong, limber, and hardworking patriarch to a helpless shadow of a man who could do nothing for himself and could not remember our names, nor what he had for lunch, or what day it happened to be.  It broke my heart to see him cry for the loss of his wife, a memory he relived daily in the later stages of the disease.

 

My great-grandmother, Mama Marta, also was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  I had no idea until I visited her once in the summer of 2008.  She was laying down, unable to get around on her own any longer.  I went to say hello to her and she couldn't remember who I was.  I wanted to introduce her to my husband, but all I could do was fight my tears.  I stayed with her a while just talking to her, holding her hand, playing with her soft, curly, salt and pepper hair.  When I finally said goodbye and walked towards the door she said to me "I know who you are.  My Tanita."  It took all my strength to retain my composure and walk over to give her another kiss, what was to be the last one I'd ever give her.  She left this world just 3 months after that.  I remember her now not how I saw her on that last day, but as she always was, independent, no-nonsense, and one of the strongest women I have ever known.

As a nurse working on a Geriatrics unit in the first years of my career, I cared for many patients affected by Dementia and Alzheimer's.  My mother was a home health aid for over 25 years and my mother-in-law is a Certified Nursing Assistant.  As caregivers we have witnessed first-hand the devastation this disease causes not only for our clients, but for their families as well.  Together, my family and I will continue to raise awareness and fight to find a cure so that no one has to live with Alzheimer's.

My husband Julio's hard work and dedication to running inspired me to join him in running the ING NYC Marathon in 2012.  After its cancellation, we ran the Miami Marathon in January 2013.  Later that year, we signed up to finish what we started and completed the ING NYC Marathon.  Even though I hate running (I seriously do) having the opportunity to be a part of this team for this cause motivates me every time to lace up my sneakers, head out the door, and run to End Alzheimer's.  And that is why this year, I'm back for more hoping to complete Chicago and running NYC again.

Spotlight - Deborah Alper

Each week we will be picking members to spotlight to tell their Alzheimer's story and why they are running in this year's New York City marathon. Check in each day for new updates on who will be spotlighted and get to know your teammates...(each person is picked at random)

My father, Dave, David

He died Monday morning, but we started losing him 10-12 years ago. And the man he was before that is who I want to talk about today, the man who to my eyes was one of the most handsome men, who could do anything!

There are a few adjectives that immediately come to mind when I think of Dad; modest, humble, and loyal. And he was always a gentleman. Dad had real values in life, not the least of which was always to do the right thing, and treat all people with respect. This is a value he instilled in his children, part of who we are today.  

As most of you probably know, Dad was the youngest son of Jacob and Bubbles (Devorah really, my namesake). He was the only 'ours' of a 'yours, mine, and ours' family, just like I am. I always felt a special connection with Dad because of this.

Dad married at the young age of 17; he married Gertie Gray, and soon my brothers Mel and Neil were born. Tragically, Gertie died at the age of 34, and Dad was left alone with his 2 young boys, age 9 and 4. Two years later, thanks to auntie Ruthie's prodding, Dad attended Parents without Partners, where he met my mother Lottie Garfinkle Shatenstein. My mother had also lost her husband, Moe, father to my sisters Bryna and Elaine, and my brother Stan. And then they had me, and we were six kids, in the relatively small house on Luck Avenue.

I sped through the years just now to illustrate a point about my dad. He took on a huge responsibility in marrying mom, he went from a family of two kids to 5. And then 6. A huge responsibility for a simple hard working man. But he and my mother were a terrific couple. Bryna remembers how Mom started smiling again when they met - I think that says it all.

Dad worked at Margo printing for many years. I remember him leaving the house at 6:30 AM and returning 6:30 PM. Supper was on the table and dad talked about his day at the 'plant'. He was straightforward and strict, very strict I can tell you. That was because for him everything was black and white, no shades of gray. And he had a terrible bark, definitely worse than his bite, we used to say.

Despite dad working so hard, he always had his hobbies. He was of the first to have a Commodore 64 computer. Then there was his ham radio, a hobby he shared with his good friend Bill Letovsky. Dad had his ham radio in the car; it was not a CB, a ham radio operator looked down on a CB operator. You didn't have to learn morse code to use a CB he'd tell me. And from dad's radio in the basement he would contact amateur radio operators in Europe and Israel even, and he'd get so excited. And this was decades before the invention if the internet. I still remember listening to him send morse code messages, hearing 'da da dadit' from the basement (god knows what they meant), and his car license plate 'VE2 DMB', his call sign.

And camping, which dad had done with Mel and Neil, and to which he now brought the new larger family. And mom, new to this, somehow managed to keep the tent, and later tent trailer, as spotless as our home. I have so many fond memories of camping with my parents, first with some of my brothers and sisters, then mainly just with my parents.

There were bonfires with Hinda and Bill and Stuart Letovsky, and of course fun week-ends with Phyllis and Manny Kirk, Ellen and Andy and Diana. Dad sitting by the fire with his cupped hand full of peanuts, jiggling them back and forth.

It was at Margo where he met his great friend Manny. They worked together there, but more importantly they fished together, they camped together, and they had a beautiful friendship. Manny said that in all the years of friendship their only arguments were at work, never when they were camping or fishing or just having fun. Manny and Phyllis and their kids and the Alpers spent week-ends happily together.

To my kids and nieces and nephews, who knew Zayda as a somewhat strict and serious man, I wish you had seen him in those camping days. We swam together, we hiked together, and we visited many parts of Canada and the US on those camping trips.

In the winter, every Saturday for many years, Dad and I went to ski school; well I went to ski school and Dad came along as a chaperone because I was too scared to go myself. He was a great swimmer, but an even better skier I think.

And for Dad and Mom, as they grew older, they discovered square dancing, with Ruth and Maurice Miller and Hinda and Bill, Abe and Sharon Flower and Myra and Paul Heymann. They dressed in their crazy square dance clothes, mom in her crinoline and dad w his skinny tie.  They had a ball! At their 25 th wedding anniversary party they even put on an impromptu performance w some of their square dance friends.

My mother never passed her drivers test despite 3 attempts, thankfully (she would have been a terrible driver), so dad was the patient chauffeur accompanying her during all her errands, driving to whichever store had the best prices. After the errands, on Saturdays, we'd go to the Garfinkle grandparents on TransIsland and hang out with the cousins.

We'd pass chanukahs at my special auntie Ruthie's, there were visits at uncle Nat’s house, with Shelley and Michael, and seeing Bubbie and Zayda Shatenstein in Chomedy.

Family was everything to my dad. Losing mom almost 21 years ago was terribly hard on him. He would often say how lucky he was to have married 2 wonderful women, but how unlucky he was to have lost them both. “And wasn't it the man who was supposed to go first!”

Dad, though you have been slipping away from us over the years, you were still there to hug and to give a kiss. And you kissed us back, somehow, until a few months ago. Now you're really gone - we love you and miss you

Spotlight - Jim Kilgore

Each week we will be picking members to spotlight to tell their Alzheimer's story and why they are running in this year's New York City marathon. Check in each day for new updates on who will be spotlighted and get to know your teammates...(each person is picked at random)

I am running in memory of my father, Richard Kilgore, who lost his battle to Alzheimer’s in December 2013 at age 79 and to honor my mother, Heike, who showed amazing strength, courage and unselfishness as his primary caregiver (and is also a Cancer survivor).  It is appropriate the Marathon begins in Staten Island as my mother grew up there and then met my dad while both were attending Wagner College (Class of ’62).  So you could say that I got my start in Staten Island too.

First, I have a confession to make….. I like to ski, I like to golf, I like to go on vacation, I like ice cream, but I don’t like to run.  For every training run, every race my first thought is:   Let’s just get this over with as quickly as possible. Don’t get me wrong, I like just about everything else related to running, the challenge, the sense of accomplishment, the physical benefits, etc., but the actual running part I could do without.  So when I run, I need to have a really good reason to do it. 

My initial motivation to run 15 years ago was typical:  to impress a girl.  She decided to run the Philadelphia Marathon and, even though I had never run more than 2-3 miles, I was in.  Luckily, we completed the marathon and that girl became my wife, Tiffany.  It not only strengthened our relationship, but truly made me realize that you can accomplish more than you think possible given the right motivation.

We got married in 2000 and we finally won the lottery for the 2002 NY Marathon, but between putting our names in lottery and finding out we were in, we also found out we were expecting my son Griffin in February 2003.  I wound up running solo and it was an absolutely perfect and inspiring day and I was lucky to have both of them (technically) cheering me on at the finish.  I remember seeing some people were running to raise money for various charities and thought that was something I should do “someday”.   So now, I am finally fulfilling that promise to run again AND raise money for a worthy cause.

My Dad loved the outdoors: skiing, golfing, fishing, hunting, gardening, traveling, and helping people. He joined the Navy after graduating from high school in Fresno, CA and got to see the world.  His main passion was skiing.  After moving to Norwich in Central NY shortly after they were married, he joined the Labrador Mt. Ski Patrol.  He was on Patrol for over 40 years until a hip replacement forced him to stop.  Even then, he came back to be a ski instructor for a few more years and was able to teach Griffin at age 4 on his first time on skis just like he had done with me and my 2 sisters. 

That was just before Alzheimer’s robbed him of continuing the things he loved most, especially being “Opa” to his grandchildren.  He was a big kid and interacting with them brought that out more than anything.  Corny jokes, silly stories, goofing around, but also teaching were always part of any visit.   Even after the disease progressed, it seemed that being around the kids brought out the best in Opa.

Eventually, after being the sole caregiver to my dad and managing his day to day 24/7 care (which included meals, keeping track of multiple drug doses, processing medical claims, clinical trial info, doctor visits, home maintenance, etc.) all while watching someone you have loved for 50+ plus years slowly slip away, my mom had to make the difficult decision to leave Norwich and move to a facility that could help offer full Alzheimer’s care when needed.  So in April 2013, they were able to move close by to Meadowood in Skippack, PA about 15 minutes away.

It was great having them close but unfortunately things progressed quickly and my dad needed to be placed in the full care facility there by July.  Griffin (11) and my daughter Aubrey (9) were really great during that difficult time and always seemed to reach the real Opa during our visits.  Aubrey would play piano and Griffin would talk sports and get Opa to tell his jokes.  I am thankful we had that extra time to spend with him and to support my Mom before he passed away in December.

I didn’t know much about Alzheimer’s prior to my Dad being diagnosed.  Now I know too well that it’s the 6th leading cause of death that cannot be prevented, cured or even slowed.  I also know after seeing what it did to my dad, and reading the stories of my teammates, how devastating it is, not only for the person who has it, but to everyone who cares for them.  We are all running because we have been inspired by someone who’s spirit and life was cut short by this cruel disease.

So as I said, I don’t like to run, but running 26 miles seems easy compared to the day to day challenges presented by Alzheimer’s.  I think about that now every time I want to have an excuse not to run (too hot, too cold, too early, too late, too sunny, too cloudy, too windy, too tired, etc.) and it gets me out the door.  I still want to get it over as quickly as possible, but when the runs get hard and I feel like stopping I think about my mom who didn’t have an option to take a day off from caring for my dad, I think about Aubrey who told me during her Girls on the Run 5K that she wasn’t going to walk and she did it, I think about Griffin learning to ski and telling jokes with my Dad and most of all I think about how good it will be to finish the marathon with my family there supporting me and being able to point to sky and tell my dad that I helped increase awareness, research and funding to finally End Alzheimer’s.