Spotlight - Jim Kilgore

Each week we will be picking members to spotlight to tell their Alzheimer's story and why they are running in this year's New York City marathon. Check in each day for new updates on who will be spotlighted and get to know your teammates...(each person is picked at random)

I am running in memory of my father, Richard Kilgore, who lost his battle to Alzheimer’s in December 2013 at age 79 and to honor my mother, Heike, who showed amazing strength, courage and unselfishness as his primary caregiver (and is also a Cancer survivor).  It is appropriate the Marathon begins in Staten Island as my mother grew up there and then met my dad while both were attending Wagner College (Class of ’62).  So you could say that I got my start in Staten Island too.

First, I have a confession to make….. I like to ski, I like to golf, I like to go on vacation, I like ice cream, but I don’t like to run.  For every training run, every race my first thought is:   Let’s just get this over with as quickly as possible. Don’t get me wrong, I like just about everything else related to running, the challenge, the sense of accomplishment, the physical benefits, etc., but the actual running part I could do without.  So when I run, I need to have a really good reason to do it. 

My initial motivation to run 15 years ago was typical:  to impress a girl.  She decided to run the Philadelphia Marathon and, even though I had never run more than 2-3 miles, I was in.  Luckily, we completed the marathon and that girl became my wife, Tiffany.  It not only strengthened our relationship, but truly made me realize that you can accomplish more than you think possible given the right motivation.

We got married in 2000 and we finally won the lottery for the 2002 NY Marathon, but between putting our names in lottery and finding out we were in, we also found out we were expecting my son Griffin in February 2003.  I wound up running solo and it was an absolutely perfect and inspiring day and I was lucky to have both of them (technically) cheering me on at the finish.  I remember seeing some people were running to raise money for various charities and thought that was something I should do “someday”.   So now, I am finally fulfilling that promise to run again AND raise money for a worthy cause.

My Dad loved the outdoors: skiing, golfing, fishing, hunting, gardening, traveling, and helping people. He joined the Navy after graduating from high school in Fresno, CA and got to see the world.  His main passion was skiing.  After moving to Norwich in Central NY shortly after they were married, he joined the Labrador Mt. Ski Patrol.  He was on Patrol for over 40 years until a hip replacement forced him to stop.  Even then, he came back to be a ski instructor for a few more years and was able to teach Griffin at age 4 on his first time on skis just like he had done with me and my 2 sisters. 

That was just before Alzheimer’s robbed him of continuing the things he loved most, especially being “Opa” to his grandchildren.  He was a big kid and interacting with them brought that out more than anything.  Corny jokes, silly stories, goofing around, but also teaching were always part of any visit.   Even after the disease progressed, it seemed that being around the kids brought out the best in Opa.

Eventually, after being the sole caregiver to my dad and managing his day to day 24/7 care (which included meals, keeping track of multiple drug doses, processing medical claims, clinical trial info, doctor visits, home maintenance, etc.) all while watching someone you have loved for 50+ plus years slowly slip away, my mom had to make the difficult decision to leave Norwich and move to a facility that could help offer full Alzheimer’s care when needed.  So in April 2013, they were able to move close by to Meadowood in Skippack, PA about 15 minutes away.

It was great having them close but unfortunately things progressed quickly and my dad needed to be placed in the full care facility there by July.  Griffin (11) and my daughter Aubrey (9) were really great during that difficult time and always seemed to reach the real Opa during our visits.  Aubrey would play piano and Griffin would talk sports and get Opa to tell his jokes.  I am thankful we had that extra time to spend with him and to support my Mom before he passed away in December.

I didn’t know much about Alzheimer’s prior to my Dad being diagnosed.  Now I know too well that it’s the 6th leading cause of death that cannot be prevented, cured or even slowed.  I also know after seeing what it did to my dad, and reading the stories of my teammates, how devastating it is, not only for the person who has it, but to everyone who cares for them.  We are all running because we have been inspired by someone who’s spirit and life was cut short by this cruel disease.

So as I said, I don’t like to run, but running 26 miles seems easy compared to the day to day challenges presented by Alzheimer’s.  I think about that now every time I want to have an excuse not to run (too hot, too cold, too early, too late, too sunny, too cloudy, too windy, too tired, etc.) and it gets me out the door.  I still want to get it over as quickly as possible, but when the runs get hard and I feel like stopping I think about my mom who didn’t have an option to take a day off from caring for my dad, I think about Aubrey who told me during her Girls on the Run 5K that she wasn’t going to walk and she did it, I think about Griffin learning to ski and telling jokes with my Dad and most of all I think about how good it will be to finish the marathon with my family there supporting me and being able to point to sky and tell my dad that I helped increase awareness, research and funding to finally End Alzheimer’s.